“There’s something you need to know
about that night,”
I could feel the change between us.
A moment ago I had felt warm and safe as he touched my cheek. I could feel my
guard shooting back up, strengthened by the few months I had let it down.
Knowing that it was there had never made it easier for me to allow people in,
but I had with Jason. It had taken time and the right circumstances. But those
words, that look on his face. I knew instinctively that something had shifted
and it took ever fiber of my being to just get up and run before I actually
heard what he had to say. Why? What? There were questions that made sense to
ask, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak.
He
conceded after several minutes of silence. “It’s not that I haven’t wanted to
tell you, but these past few months have been… more than I could have imagined
and I knew that you would have run. That I would have chased you away.” He had
told me the night of our first kiss that convincing me to go out with him had
felt like chasing a deer; He had made only the slightest movements to get
closer so as not to scare me away. He was good at reading people. He knew me
even better now, saying everything he wanted to say before saying what he had
to say. He knew that once he said what he had to say I would be gone. By my
estimation there weren’t many things it could be. Cheating stood at the
forefront of my mind.
“I
wasn’t alone in that room when you came in.” I steeled myself and prepared to
cut my losses. “I had just finished a meeting… with your father.”
I
hadn’t seen that coming.
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